So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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