you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
