So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
