she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
