my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
