sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
