You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
