using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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