Someone shit on the floor
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
