I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
