The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
