like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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