i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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