I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
