we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
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