At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
