I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
