would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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