After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
they're like a gay fantastic four
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
