Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
