i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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