HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
