Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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