I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize