Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
