are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
