Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm both gender and math confused
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
