Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
