Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
