i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
