Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I made him laugh his dick is mine
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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