just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
