I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
