he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
