i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
