why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
