I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
