Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
