better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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