he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
