it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
