do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
