her vagina looked like bernie madoff
accomplished twins. life is a go
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
So apparently I’m into choking now
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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