I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I currently don't understand fingers.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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