dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
