Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
