hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
