So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
