Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
