I can't breathe out the right side of my face
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
