Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
